Something's Fishy at Valencia's Central Market

We were surprised by a flag throwing performance in Italy, but we never saw this. I guess we didn't frequent the right market...



You've gotta love a country that reacts to a surprise opera in the marketplace by breaking out the wine and passing it around!

Oops. That Can't Be Good.

Just a Reminder to Relax and Have Fun!

Sometimes I stress out trying to make things too perfect, which is utterly impossible in my world, so this is a reminder to myself that being together and having fun is really the whole point. Mishaps will add to the humor and everything else will slip into place when it is supposed to. Merry Christmas!
TSO Wizards in Winter 2007

Thank You, I'd Like That

Christmas is all about gifts. We search high and low for the perfect “somethings” for those special people in our lives simply because we want to illicit that sharp intake of breath and exhale of surprised joy. We scour toy stores in order to obtain the one item for which a child has pinned all his or her hopes on Santa to bring, lest he or she be disappointed in their hero. We trade homemade gifts with neighbors and we even share a little something with coworkers because even the most irritating people look less so against the halo of light emanating from our Christmas spirit. We make sure the homeless have a place to sleep and a proper holiday meal, we toss change into Salvation Army pots as we shop, and we donate gifts to names on the community tree. It all adds up to a lot of giving, a lot of buying, and a lot of gifts. Although this seems to be a testimony on materialism, I can’t help but see a different perspective here.

From the Christian point of view, Jesus is a gift to us from God; a gift of Himself given to lowly and privileged alike. Not earned. Not bought. Not deserved, but given anyway...and, what’s more, given with a love that expects nothing in return. Such a perfect gift, given in such perfect spirit. In our best moments, our giving can come close to this same spirit. Yet, it has occurred to me that this Christmas theme of giving is only half of the story about gifts. Acceptance, the theme of the final week of the Advent season reminds me that the giving of gifts is not complete unless the gifts are received.

Now, I’m not sanctioning a “gimme, gimme, gimme everything I want” kind of attitude, but just a gentle consciousness that people in our lives work hard and sacrifice to give to us all the time. Yet, pride or embarrassment or stubbornness often keeps us (er, me, let’s be honest) from accepting it.
“Ah, no thanks, I’m fine.”
“Oh, no. I can do it. Thanks anyway.”
“Naw, that’s too much trouble.”
And the most beautiful, selfless gift that people offer us, but that we tend to either take for granted or shrug off as not necessary, is their time and themselves.

So this year I am going to enter Christmas and the New Year with a spirit of acceptance as well as that of giving. I am reminding myself that I can’t do everything alone and that I need to say yes to help sometimes. For faith, hope, love, safety, freedom, friendship, family and the miracles of everyday life, I am thankful and blessed and I send wishes for all of the same out to every one of you. Don't forget, miracles happen to those who believe in them...

Straight No Chaser: A Cappella

These guys are having way too much fun. Loosen up! This is proof that everything does not have to be perfect to be great; different can be fun.

The Sound of Joy

Christmas is almost here!

Curls For Christmas

I am not sure how many years it has been since Mom’s last perm, possibly three, but it has been her greatest regret; the last vestige of southern pride torn from her during her troublesome ninth decade. She has mourned its loss to all who might listen, and even to those who are indifferent, feeling that she must recount that last experience when a wave of dizziness convinced her that the chair she was in was falling. Gripped by a confused beautician who assured her that the chair was nailed down and she couldn’t fall, they weathered the spell and gave up the idea of a perm since leaning backward over the sink, which occurs three times during the process, was what had triggered it. To one who will not leave her bedroom, let alone the house, without her Elizabeth Arden “face” on, nor go to town without the “right” pants on, straight hair (which also has the audacity to be perceptibly thin now) is not acceptable.

The nineties have forced Mom to deal with some irritating challenges: random flashes of dizziness, limited range of motion, knotted hands, an increase in general aches and pains, a few seizures, and a general decline in strength and stamina. However, dealing with straight hair has been the bitterest of blows. Since she cannot raise her arms enough to reach the back of her head, I curl and brush her hair. Although I have expressed willingness to curl her hair more often, she only wants to “inconvenience me” once a week so that it looks good on Sunday for church. Unfortunately, without a perm (as she has often bemoaned), the curl only stays in for two to three days. This is not a good thing for a woman of southern breeding.

Today, Danielle’s friend, Ashley, came to Mom’s rescue. A recent beauty school graduate, and a “Grammy fan,” Ashley came to our home to give Mom a perm. She had even purchased a special hair bib (for want of a better term) that can be used to funnel water into a sink without the wearer leaning backwards. Although we need to work out a few kinks, since Mom couldn’t have ended up much wetter during the second rinse if we had put her in the shower, it still kept her from having a dizzy spell. Fortunately, Mom saw the humor and laughed as hard as we did while I helped her change clothes before Ashley gave her hair a trim.

There are so many ways that illness and age-related issues can steal away people’s dignity that it felt really good to see a little of that reversed for Mom today. I purposely didn’t tell her Ashley was coming until this morning, which was almost too early because by mid-afternoon she was starting to become fearful that she would get dizzy. I tried not to waiver and to stay positive and, thankfully, Ashley came soon after that and we just got the process going before Mom could back out. So, a little drenching a couple hours later was easily met with merry laughter because by then the danger of failure had passed. That is such a nice accomplishment for Mom: to not have something outside her control cause her to fail. Who would have thought that a perm could matter so much to self-esteem, but it was definitely a victory; a sign that life is not over yet because human spirit can still prevail! Today, in this fourth week of Advent, we have certainly experienced the theme of joy. When we dare to hope, we open the door to the possibility of joy. What are you rejoicing in today?

Carol of the Bells

Could I possibly make it one more step, I wondered desperately? No. The answer ringing in my head scared me more than the lack of oxygen in my lungs. With alarm, I realized my breathing had changed from the mere breathlessness of exertion to that desperate gasping that comes when taking air into the lungs is no longer enough. This was the first moment I actually considered that I might not be able to make the whole climb. It was a terrifying thought because I couldn't see a way out; going up meant not being able to breathe, but going down was surely impossible because the narrow passage was only one-person wide. I'd never get past the people behind me.

Thankfully, the people ahead of me stopped for a moment. At least, I was thankful until I realized they had stopped to let people coming down the narrow, marble staircase go past us. As I heard the descending steps of those heard-but-yet-unseen sightseers coming nearer, I tried to consciously control my breathing and slow my heartbeat, wondering all the while how any adults could possibly squeeze by. This must be a joke! Not one to usually feel claustrophobic, I began to press myself against the stone wall in a slow panic, praying that we would not get stuck. I would have held my breath as well, but I couldn't get enough of it in to hold. Who on earth led these groups to the top of the duomo? Had they never heard of timing or one-way routes? What on earth was I doing here?

Somehow, we slipped past one another, the descending group uttering encouragement as they passed. "Not much farther," they lied. Then I had to face the continuing climb. How many steps did the tour book say? 367? That didn't seem like much at the beginning, but after the first 60, when I had lost interest in counting, I was really questioning my ability to make it. Foolishly, I had followed the quick climbing pace of those in front of me; a young couple jogging as they counted and bantered. Cruel people, actually. This is a typical mistake for me; trusting the lead of others instead of thinking for myself. I, who called, at best, a 20 minute daily walk a "workout" had no business JOGGING up 367 extremely tall steps. Were those walls closing in, by the way? Was that 24 inch wide passageway getting even narrower, or was it a figment of my oxygen-starved brain?

At 100 steps we reached a broad landing where people stopped to look at antique paraphenalia hung on the walls overhead. I feined interest as I audibly gulped in huge quantities of air and refused to continue the climb again until my blue lips faded to at least white. Now at the back of the pack, my two kindly cohorts let me lead us up the remaining stairs at my own leisurely pace. I'm sure the guide, who followed at the rear and made the trip several times a day, was ready to throttle me, but at this point, survival was my only goal. I no longer cared if the view was worth it; I just wanted to live. Two-thirds of the way up we got another reprieve at the base of the dome as we filed along its inside wall just long enough to admire the frescos before re-entering the passage again. Hope flooded me at that point as I actually began to concieve of salvation. That was about the time the right hand wall became a vertical rope around which the steep steps spiraled and the left hand wall began to lean in. My breathing was better, but I will admit that my prayer life increased as I petitioned that no one would need to pass us again.

For me, the challenges of the climb were unexpected and life-changing. The view was, of course, worth it, but so was the experience itself. In that moment of hopelessness, when neither going up nor going down seemed actually possible, I faced real fear. Grace gave me a moment to collect myself, but it was hope that made me start moving again and got me to the top. I learned that nothing worthwhile is gained without risk and that my own instincts and reason are worth trusting.

So, during this second week of Advent, I celebrate Hope; one of the greatest gifts we have ever been given and one of the best blessings we can share with one another. Hope is what keeps us from giving up...on ourselves, on God, on each other. It keeps us from becoming bitter, dried up skeletons no longer capable of loving or taking risks. It drives us to keep looking for cures, to forgive, to try again, and to take another step up that winding, claustrophobic staircase of life.

Here's to the hope that Christmas will reign in our hearts forever:

Project WILD SHOPPERS: Shop-to-Drop 2009 Trip

Mission Statement:  Leave no store un-shopped!

Objectives:
     1) Create joy for ourselves and everyone around us.
     2) Don’t lose Betty...
     3) Eat well and often!

Tools: head gear & earrings by BJ, necklace by Dave, comfy shoes, shopping lists, sale ads, discount coupons, cell phones, husbands’ credit cards, cash.

Secret Weapon:

     Betty, “on the whine” for a special deal!

Mottos:

     1) No shrimp left behind!

     2) No good deal passed up without dickering for a lower price.

Rules:
     No men (except chauffeurs only)
     No children (unless nursing)
     Whatever BJ makes for headgear you wear PROUDLY without whimpering.

     Pre-authorize MIA or be willing to pay the consequences. (This means you, Sarah and Jen!)

     Bottom line – No humor, no go!

Obstacles:
     Grumpy, bah-humbug people
     So many stores, so few of us
     Getting around people who obviously don’t realize we’re shopping, or hungry, or cold!

Shopping Health Food Groups:
     Lattes, especially eggnog
     Shrimp; lots and lots of shrimp
     Cheesecake
     Haggen daas
     Margueritas, any flavor
     Shrimp (remember our motto!)

Accomplishments:

     Worked out on the Wii to develop balance and stamina for the trip

     Made good memories together.

     Laughed a lot.

     Only reminded once to be quieter in the bookstore (thanks to Danielle for bringing the obscene chicken).

     Ate remarkably well

    

    Drove safely

     Maintained Christmas spirit

     Spread good cheer everywhere we went

     Indoctrinated a free spirit shopper

Evaluation: Mission successful.

Recommendations:

     1) Learn how to operate Karen’s coffeepot, microwave, and car temp/air flow controls.

     2) Meet Karen at Arlington and drive all the way to Portland on Thursday so we can eat a good meal, watch a movie, and sleep in the next morning.

     3) Remember the Christmas music cd, not just the cd jacket (this means you, Karen).

     4) Pay closer attention to room numbers before you make a fool of yourself. If you mess up, run like hell.

Ready for Ultimate Shopping

It is time. Even my toes are ready. Two local preparatory shopping trips, the last of which included a spa pedicure, have helped us pull together our Christmas lists so that today BJ and I can migrate to Karen’s house for the night and then get up early to head into the Big City for the weekend. Although we will meet up on the fly with friends and family, our primary goal is to Christmas shop, laugh, eat, and shop some more.

This year marks our twenty-ninth year of making this trip. When we began, we lived in the same small, isolated town and each had one or more children under eight years old. In fact, Karen and I made the first trip alone, going down and back in one very long day. BJ came with us the following year when we extended the trip to include an overnight stay in a shared motel room. We figured out which stores opened earliest every morning as places to start and shopped at Toys-R-Us last because it was open until midnight. In all the years since, I have only missed twice and one of those times was not worth it. When I dutifully decided on my own to stay home to save money one year, I soon learned that the trip with these friends was a Christmas gift to myself that I couldn’t afford to do without.

Our annual trip now begins at noon on Thursday and extends through Sunday evening when we dawdle in to our respective homes as late as possible. Together we have survived moving away from each other, raising our kids, empty nest syndrome, changing jobs, retirement, family illnesses, deaths, caregiving, and cancer. Nothing can ever replace the memories that bind us to one another; the laughter, tears and craziness. Hair dying in our underwear in the motel bathroom, a naked man in the hot tub that Karen never saw, BJ riding in my Toys-R-Us cart, being serenaded over my chimichanga, getting a ride from BJ on an unattended hand cart, late night stops for ice cream and Megabucks tickets at Albertsons, wearing matching bawdy decorations in our hair that often jangle, sparkle, or bob so that BJ can find us in the stores, and making newcomers to the group park the car, carry packages, and run our coats and packages to the car periodically are just a few of the reasons that I hold these friends and our time together so dear. And I haven’t even mentioned the amount of shrimp we can put away at an all-you-can-eat special, or the tears I have shed from long bouts of uncontrolled laughter, or BJ’s amazing ability to milk a great deal out of any proprietor.

No, this trip is about more than just shopping, although I would never admit that out loud. It is about female solidarity, friendship, and fun and I am really glad that my daughters have been able to be part of it. I wish this simple but pure joy for all of our children and I hope that they carry it on after we are gone.

So I wish you all a great weekend, wherever you are, and I pray for good roads and lots of laughter for us all. Sarah will be on a similar trip of her own with friends this year, Jen is off to New Zealand (so watch her blog, Traveling Red, for updates and pictures), and Jeremy is busy in NYC, but Danielle will be joining us for the first time... I wonder if she remembers the rule about carrying our bags?

Would You Like Soy With That?

For the last two months Don has been sporting a new allergic reaction, in the form of itchy hives. At this point, we have finally narrowed down our suspicions to soy products. I thought an allergy to eggs and wheat would be bad, two of the three finalists still in the running, but even the latter takes a backseat to soy. The final tipoff came when Don used the last bit of a large bottle of vegetable oil and happened to read that it was not made from corn or canola, as we had assumed, but was 100% soy oil. Since then, we have discovered soy, in some form or another, in the following:


Pancake mix
Cake flower
Various margarines
Crisco shortening
Rice-a-roni
Cake mix
Miracle Whip
Mayonnaise
Canola Oil cooking spray
Oreos
Wheat Thins
Smokehouse almonds
Chili
Chicken noodle soup
Cookie Dough and Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream
Some vegetable oils
Some breads

...and those are just things around the house. I cringe to think of where all it occurs in restaurant food.