Curls For Christmas

I am not sure how many years it has been since Mom’s last perm, possibly three, but it has been her greatest regret; the last vestige of southern pride torn from her during her troublesome ninth decade. She has mourned its loss to all who might listen, and even to those who are indifferent, feeling that she must recount that last experience when a wave of dizziness convinced her that the chair she was in was falling. Gripped by a confused beautician who assured her that the chair was nailed down and she couldn’t fall, they weathered the spell and gave up the idea of a perm since leaning backward over the sink, which occurs three times during the process, was what had triggered it. To one who will not leave her bedroom, let alone the house, without her Elizabeth Arden “face” on, nor go to town without the “right” pants on, straight hair (which also has the audacity to be perceptibly thin now) is not acceptable.

The nineties have forced Mom to deal with some irritating challenges: random flashes of dizziness, limited range of motion, knotted hands, an increase in general aches and pains, a few seizures, and a general decline in strength and stamina. However, dealing with straight hair has been the bitterest of blows. Since she cannot raise her arms enough to reach the back of her head, I curl and brush her hair. Although I have expressed willingness to curl her hair more often, she only wants to “inconvenience me” once a week so that it looks good on Sunday for church. Unfortunately, without a perm (as she has often bemoaned), the curl only stays in for two to three days. This is not a good thing for a woman of southern breeding.

Today, Danielle’s friend, Ashley, came to Mom’s rescue. A recent beauty school graduate, and a “Grammy fan,” Ashley came to our home to give Mom a perm. She had even purchased a special hair bib (for want of a better term) that can be used to funnel water into a sink without the wearer leaning backwards. Although we need to work out a few kinks, since Mom couldn’t have ended up much wetter during the second rinse if we had put her in the shower, it still kept her from having a dizzy spell. Fortunately, Mom saw the humor and laughed as hard as we did while I helped her change clothes before Ashley gave her hair a trim.

There are so many ways that illness and age-related issues can steal away people’s dignity that it felt really good to see a little of that reversed for Mom today. I purposely didn’t tell her Ashley was coming until this morning, which was almost too early because by mid-afternoon she was starting to become fearful that she would get dizzy. I tried not to waiver and to stay positive and, thankfully, Ashley came soon after that and we just got the process going before Mom could back out. So, a little drenching a couple hours later was easily met with merry laughter because by then the danger of failure had passed. That is such a nice accomplishment for Mom: to not have something outside her control cause her to fail. Who would have thought that a perm could matter so much to self-esteem, but it was definitely a victory; a sign that life is not over yet because human spirit can still prevail! Today, in this fourth week of Advent, we have certainly experienced the theme of joy. When we dare to hope, we open the door to the possibility of joy. What are you rejoicing in today?