Trust Me

Danielle’s friend, Ashley, began coming to the house to give Mom perms shortly after she earned her beautician’s license. After going without perms for several years because lying back in the chair or leaning too far forward made her dizzy, it was a huge treat for Mom to have it done again. Alas, however, Ashley eventually moved to Montana so it was a great surprise when she appeared at the door the other day wanting to set up a time to do Mom’s hair while she was home visiting family for the week.

Mom was on the tail end of recovering from the fluid build-up in her system that is an occasional arrhythmia complication, so her first reaction was that it would be too much effort. Taking a chance that she was actually able to weather the process, I insisted that we try so she begrudgingly let us roll her into the kitchen and start. These role-reversed decisions are becoming more frequent. Instead of her cornering me to take a bath, amid avid 8-year old protesting, it is now me pushing past her 98-year old grumping long enough to do something that I feel sure will please her in the end. And, thankfully, this time it did.

Because Ashley could not bring her perm supplies on the plane, she had gone to the trouble of purchasing new curlers, chemicals, and papers for this rendezvous. However, buying another special cape to wrap around Mom’s head and funnel the rinse water into the kitchen sink was not an option so we improvised by using a clean shower curtain of mine to fashion a substitute. The first time, it worked great, but silliness during the second rinse resulted in leaks and minor flooding on the floor. Of course, we stopped to take a picture because, by then, Mom was laughing and quite happy to overlook the drips.

I am thankful that the gamble paid off and Mom is enjoying her perm. Ashley promised to be back next Christmas to do it again, although, I suspect that Mom may not be up to it by then and the effort may too greatly outweigh the resulting pleasure. Some of her appointments are becoming too cumbersome for her now, as well. For instance, at her last annual eye exam she had to be transferred three or four times because her wheel chair didn’t get close enough to the machines. Yet only one of those tests is really necessary for maintaining her quality of life at this point. It is a hard call as to what is truly essential and when; caregivers in all walks of life need lots of prayers to help them make the right decisions at the right moments.