Wha? You Did NOT Just Say That!

At 95, Mom has outlived most of her contemporaries, a fact that makes both of us sad; but two of her good friends still live in her hometown. Within the last year they have each moved into apartments in the local assisted living facility. Last week we set aside an afternoon to go up and see them. I was a little chagrined that Mom would not call ahead to set it up herself since they were her friends and I felt very awkward doing it, but I "sucked it up" and did it for her anyway. As I waited by the front door while she slowly made her way back from "one-last-trip-to-the-bathroom-before-we-leave-even-though-I-said-I-was-ready," I kept asking myself why we were doing this. However, as soon as I saw their faces light up like that of a kid in a candy store when they spotted each other, I was really glad we had made the effort.

The above photo of these three muskateers only reveals the canned smiles that they use for posed pictures. I wish I could have taken some candid ones without spoiling the mood once they were settled in W's easy chairs, laughing at a bazaar conversation that I fear, even at 54, my ears were too young to hear.

J: "You know, I've lost weight and am so bent over now that I am nothing but loose, saggy fat all through here" (pointing along waistline).

W: "Well, at least you have titties!"

Stunned silence, then surprised laughter.

W: "You always had some pretty good ones."

(Excuse me?! Did the most proper, lady-like person in the room just tell my mom she had had great TITTIES and actually say the word titties out loud? Why do I feel like I should not be hearing this?)

J: "Oh yes, and now they hang down to here!" (pointing to navel)

More hysterical laughter!

In this incredible moment I realized that such abandoned laughter is the epitome of friendship; it is the laughter of trust. These ladies have been through alot together. Although they speak of shopping trips, card parties, and coffee get-togethers as the substance of their relationship, I am reminded of more than that. They have stood by each other during child-rearing, physical ailments such as cancer, the death of loved ones, and spousal caretaking. They have shared with one another their feelings, worries, joys, time, and prayers as only long time-friends can, and they have supported one another even when words or understanding failed. Now, even though their memories are faulty and they often can't hear each other very well, they still make each other light up with joy. I wish this type of friendship for us all and I feel it such a priviledge that I have been able to witness theirs.