Not Just a Hair Cut

Self perception is an interesting thing. Today I got a haircut and a perm that were both way overdue. I put them off for various reasons, but now the deed is done and I feel like a new woman. Really, the only thing wrong with my hair before was that the bangs were too long and annoying. The fact that my locks were lank and straight was not actually contradictory to modern styles, but it nevertheless made me feel old and unkempt. Somewhere along the line, I have come to associate curls with me being at my best. This is not necessarily true, but not necessarily false, either.

When I was growing up, my mom always complimented me on being tall and lithe (I really was lithe once, in ancient times!). I didn’t care at the time and just rolled my eyes in response, but the words still managed to sink in enough that it was quite a shock in my home economics class when I was rudely awakened to the fact by my laughing classmates and teacher that I was not actually tall. It comes down to perspective. From Mom’s four foot, eleven inch viewpoint, I was, indeed, “tall” at five foot four, but my five foot, seven inch girlfriends had a different perspective.

My self perception changes daily and even hourly in certain situations. I can see myself as tall and lithe one moment and short, dumpy and old the next; as brilliant and creative one day and as a lazy space cadet the next. The sad thing is when I sometimes let a negative mental image affect my actions as well as my thinking. I have seen the same thing happen with kids in the classroom and with Mom as she deals with age issues. Half of my work as a tutor and teacher is to help students stretch their self perceptions to include the viewpoint of their strengths. It’s a little tougher with Mom as she sees herself losing ground, but we try to help her focus on what she can do rather than what she can’t. It is a good lesson to me to become more aware of how my self perceptions are affecting who I am, how I make choices, what I do, and how I feel. Does the real me have curly hair or straight hair, and does it matter?